Interview, meeting, interview, interview

OMG, I'm so excited. I have a big interview this morning, and then a lunch meeting at a place where I have two applications in, and then another interview this afternoon.

I am indeed SO excited! I've prepped well for both the interviews, and I feel fortunate to have been included as a member of the meeting. The meeting is to plan a youth conference--I was involved last year, but it never occurred to me that I'd be invited when unemployed.

Then tomorrow I have another interview, for which I had to prepare a 15 minute presentation. I did it this weekend, and it helped me prepare for the interview this morning. Totally awesome!

Wish me luck!

Lists of lists

Fun:
Shopping for clothes that fit (fun? meh, but better than nothing)
Cook (fun? kind of, but I don't know what to make)
Sew? Maybe. An apron is lacking.
Decorate? I need a better color scheme in the den. This doesn't seem fun, though.

House:
Sweep
Vacuum
Clean freezer
Laundry
Straighten guest BR

Projects:
Make raised beds for garden.
Photo scanning for Dad and family
Scarf for friend
Sell couch on Craigslist

I feel a distinct lack of motivation. :-(

Rainy Day fun

I've been curious for a long time about eventually buying a house, I have today off, and it's raining. So just for kicks, I'm going to drive around to see (from the curb!) some houses listed for sale right now. Call it research.

Ideally I'd be wanting: no HOA, sunny enough yard for a garden, 3 Br and 2 Ba (for a roommate plus guest room), safe neighborhood, wouldn't make my commute more than 40 minutes one way, walkable, not stuck up, hardwoods, non-horrible kitchen, fenced yard, blahdity blah blah. They're mostly negotiable, these desires, but that list I gave tends to descending order of importance.

Neighborhoods I'm familiar with: Northgate Park (Hi Cristin!), Duke Park, Old West Durham, Watts Hillandale, Tuscaloosa/Lakewood, Forest Hills, Hope Valley, Trinity Park, Trinity Heights. Other areas that might be OK would be the Cole Mill area, around the intersection of Sparger and Hillsborough....

Any other ideas? Tell me about some nice neighborhoods here in Durham!

What a great deal!

I'd say I'm frugal-minded but not too financially savvy. Can't see the forest for the trees, as they say. I'm not at all prepared for Old Age, and the very fact that I'm thinking about it makes me feel old.

Which I know makes no sense, as far as financial planning goes. But there you have it.

Part of this situation is due to the fact that my chosen career path is hardly lucrative, to say the least. Add in an expensive education and copious medical expenses, and I'm usually pretty broke.

However, I recently had an epiphany and made a financial move that I'm finally comfortable to make, and which will save me approximately $4100 a year in taxes, while adding almost that much again into long-term savings.

Pretty sweet, no?

Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes...

New Roommate is a total gem. He's easygoing, kind, sweet, and considerate. He's also underpaid due to working in the public schools, doing fantastic work with an underserved population. Living here is a stretch for him, and it's not sustainable. I like New Roommate so much that I want to keep him.

In addition, I want to buy a house in the next few years. I'm still recuperating financially from the unemployment days and subsequent fear of house sharing once FreakShow moved out. (Did you know that I PAID him in order to get him to leave? Not much, but it was worth every single fucking penny.) I paid off the credit card in the last two months. WAHOO! MY car will be paid off come October, and I need to begin saving in earnest.

Enter the master plan: we have an extra bedroom. We're going to find Second Roommate, whoever that may be. New Roommate wants it to be a girl. I don't care much either way.

No cats, kids or dogs. (Too small for three people and a dog, sniff). We're laid back but not too slack. We don't want partiers or anyone who's too into illegal substances. We don't want anyone either of us already is friends with to move in. Liberal/progressive-minded is a must.

It's a great and convenient neighborhood and a fantastic house. Really good people live here already. ~$315/month + 1/3 utilities. Shared bathroom. Rent will probably be less than the $315 quoted above. I am extremely comfortable paying more for having my own bath, and New Roommate has the larger of the two remaining bedrooms, so we're going to pro-rate. Neither of us can figure out how to do the math.

1) Know anyone?
2) Can you do the math? If total rent=x, Stew = +$40 for shared bathroom, New Roommate= +$10 for larger than third bedroom, what would each of us owe?

This one's for Mom

I cleaned my room top to bottom. Found many missing shoes and $17 in bills and change. Treated myself to a paper shredder with the proceeds. I will soon start on the piles of junk mail, which I will either recycle or use as bedding for the worms.

No, your comment about whether I'd cleaned my bedroom yet did not inspire this! Internal motivation did. So, NYAAH!!! ;-) (that's a wink, mumma)


Unfortunately, the re-messyzation has already begun. To wit:

2007

An overview:

1) got rid of evil roommate
2) got new, good job
3) made two rockin' 4'x10' garden beds
4) made a worm bin and got some worms.
5) met lots of good new friends, both near and far*.
6) made or continued connections with others who I expect and or hope to meet at some point**.
7) kept up with old friends, not all of whom are bloggers, and so are not referenced, but you know who you are! (I could do better with this, though!)
8) Participated in a couple of cool local eating events.
9) Established my first garden!
10) Got new roommate. The good one.
11) Struggled with mental health, self-doubt, insecurities, loneliness, figurative paralysis and slovenliness. What's new?! :-)
12) Discovered my favorite type of beer.
13) Birded, but not as much as I'd like to.
14) Celebrated one year post quitting smoking, and apparently forgot to blog it.
15) Pined after having a dog, but ultimately decided I am not in a situation where I can do right by it.
16) Continued following issues that matter to me, and did something about them.
17) Probably a lot of other things I can't remember.

As far as goals for 2008, I think the main one will be to address the figurative paralysis of procrastination that often keeps me from doing what I'd like to and need to do.

What about you?

____________________

*This one is giving birth to her second child today! A son! Wish her health and luck! On top of it, her husband and I have known each other basically since birth, because our fathers were best friends from childhood. And Ms. Sitting Still and I made the connection via BLOGGING!

**BONUS! One might happen today!

Help me figure this out, will ya?

So I mentioned that this weekend marked a year since I quit smoking, right?

Well, I promised myself a new computer. But now that seems a little LARGE of a purchase. And I don't like the amount of time I'm on the computer as it is. If other people park themselves in front of the TV when they get home from work, I park myself in front of the computer.

I don't know what to do; I'm so cheap, because of what seems like necessity, that often I make these bargains with myself and don't follow through with them. That's probably not a very effective strategy in the long run, but I really feel like I can't afford ANYTHING beyond the norm. Doesn't stop me from buying beer though.

I've also really been wanting a freezer to use for those seasonal vegetables that you can't can very easily. To tell you the truth, I'd much rather have frozen huge batches of sauce from the tomatoes I bought. But I make up barriers. I mean, I've seen plenty of cheap, second hand freezers on Craigslist. They're affordable. I have a friend who has said she'd be willing to help me move it. She and her partner have a truck. There's no real reason not to get it, but I've spent all summer convincing myself it's not doable. Now my reasoning is that I've waited too long as it is, and being single I don't really need all that food anyway.

Another thing I'd like is a new digital camera. The one I have is, poor thing, older even than my computer. I bought it second-hand for a reasonable price, from someone I know takes care of their belongings. But it still works. It works. So I don't get myself a new one.

I'm having a hard time convincing myself to follow through with rewarding myself for a year of not smoking.

:-(

Any ideas?

Still CRAZY...

...after this one year!

August 4th. I almost forgot about it entirely. My mom called and was acting really excited and congratulating me, and I still wondered what she was going on about when I finally remembered.

Ahhhhhh.

I don't even care that I'm 30 lbs heavier.

Lab Write up

Abstract:
Limited computer usage corresponds with a higher level of accomplishment, after one day. Multiple regression analysis showed an increase in chores outcome was significant (p=.00143). Minimizing access to the World Wide Web did negatively affect subject's (n=1) ability to access necessary information(1), however. Subject's reported anxiety levels fluctuated from none to major. Net mean of anxiety level was below standard. Chores outcome measured by number of loads of laundry put away (two), number of kitchens entirely clean (one), number of dishes washed (14), number of wastebaskets emptied (three), number of lawns mowed (one) and number of new compost heaps created (one). Subject reported no positive social interaction, however.

Further studies will address long-term sustainability of the project.

(1) A Betty Crocker Cookbook, ca. 1989 substituted for an online database to find a suitable pound cake recipe. Subject then added almond paste, almond extract (pure), and chocolate chips. No appropriate recipe was able to be found for acelgas.

Experiment

I've been disturbed at how much time I've been spending doing nothing but refreshing my favorite blogs and websites, hoping there's something new to read. I think it's been making my anxiety worse.

Today, except for right now and maybe one other time this afternoon for checking email (say at 5 p.m.) I will not be opening my computer. I will pass my time today doing rather than being.

If you want to do something, which I'd really appreciate, please call me. Most of you who read have my phone number. Those of you that don't, mostly know at least one person who does. The rest of you I'll talk to at 5. If you've emailed, that is.

Today I will be mindful.

For everything everything everything

Today is June 4th. The 4th of every month I've been celebrating.

Do you remember why?

Yup.

TEN MONTHS BABY!

Moving on

So I caved. Just for 30 minutes though. I got home from a 12-hour day that will be followed by another one, and then a weekend where I'll work both Saturday and Sunday, and it was in the 80s inside my house. I can't take that tonight.

For less than 30 minutes I switched on the air. It got down to 79 and I've turned it off. It's still warm enough that lolling starkers is comfortable, but I'm no longer sweating while sitting still.

Thank god for screens

That title up there might just distract me for a second from my original thought for a topic. I'll come back to it.

Look up there, for a second, to the post title. What do you say when you, ahem, don't cotton to the idea* of deities? I went with the non-capitalization, feeling like it's preferable to something acutely awful like "Thank Goddess." I don't know why the alternatives bug me so. Thank Deity. Thank goodness. Thank the lord. Thank heavens. There's just not a secular option that I can come up with. (Thank goodness is the closest, but since it's probably finding its roots as a substitute for the word 'god' I've decided it doesn't count as secular.)

Anyhoo, back on topic.

Airco.

I've decided to delay turning on the central air for as long as humanly (Stewly) possible. I have ceiling fans in almost every room, and it's still getting cool enough at night that it's not entirely unbearable. And really, I'm not home for most of the day.

Remember, I'm also the one who, when my past roommate moved out, opted to set the thermostat at a nice 60º F and just wear sweaters. I'm hardy that way.

It's been getting up to 90º during the day now, and I'm employing all the right tricks to keep the house cool. Nonetheless, it's a muggy 80º inside. Doable.

I wonder when I'll break.

*Did I use that phrase correctly? I can't readily find an online definition.

Ah, what to do today?

I read a nice bit of advice today regarding going out and doing things alone.

However, the most important thing is that if you are dependant on friends coming to be able to do things, you will spend your life missing out on things you want to do. Friends are great when they're there, but they can't always be there - never, ever, get into the habit of not doing things you want to, just because people aren't interested or flake out at the last minute, or whatever.

It may seem like little things - but over the years, they add up. Once you've gone to this concert, lower the bar and start going to similarly no-friends-interested things you are merely tempted by and are not to-die-for. It doesn't cost you time with your friends, it just means you get to do more - being effortlessly independent is simply a better way to live. (From here)

This resonates with me. There are a lot of times I don't have access to friends, either because they are busy or because I am feeling uncomfortable calling around.

I'm going to try this. Now I have to figure out what kind of things to do.

Off to check out the Independent's events calendar...

Pesty

So...not much commentary on yesterday's post, eh? That's fine. I'm just really glad I have found something to stir things up just enough to get me changing the things I need to change.

So, on that note, I woke up today, had a small coffee, took my meds and crawled back in bed.

PSYCHE! OK, yeah I did crawl back into bed, but only for a few minutes while drinking my coffee. Then I got up, put on running clothes, and did day two of the C2-5K program.

I got home, and before you know it I was caught up in garden plans. I did a ton, and it was hard work, man. I hauled and raked and hoed and cultivated and shoveled and flipped. For almost 2 hours of sweat, grime, and sneezing. (I'm not working today)

Garden update:

• My peas aren't what I wanted, but they're fine. It looks like I got something more like snow peas rather than sugar snap peas. And I also got one misfiled pea seed, cause I have some non-edible pod peas at one end of the row.

• The radishes are HUGE and probably should be just cleared out now.

• Thinning the chard was a very good move. What's left is thriving.

• The beets, which are not planted very neatly, are doing well. Nice greens on them, and once I pull the radishes which are sharing their space, I bet they'll have more room to develop and be happy.

• Beans: have buds!

• Tomatoes: various stages of development. One of the Extreme Bush plants I grew from seed is doing particularly well, and it looks like the Indian Stripes I thought were goners will probably pull through. I treated a minor case of aphids with an application of some insecticidal oil. We do have some flowers, people, which bodes well. Tomato pests scare the crap out of me!

• Cukes are fine. They're not extremely quick growth, though, so they're still kind of boring.

• Peppers: another slow growth plant. There are buds on the big plant I got at Barnes Supply over near my house.

• Cantaloupes and straight neck squash: I can't remember which is which, because Sharpie apparently fades quickly in direct sunlight. And I'm not sure if I am supposed to thin them or not. For both crops, Jamie and I planted three seeds in the corner of one of the beds, and all three came up and are thriving. So um yeah. To thin or not to thin?

• Current stock of herbs: rosemary, oregano, sorrel, winter savory, thyme, spearmint, garlic chives, peppermint, dill, basil, regular chives, parsely, sage.

• I planted the raspberries, and it does look like I've got a stock of wild blackberries, as well.

• The green onions look like tiny chives.


Random thoughts: Fainting goats for sale, I'm wearing shoulder pads today. I think I saw poison ivy in my yard and whipped out some Round Up. The robins are extremely happy to chomp on the worms I uprooted when hauling compost. I didn't change shoes to garden and so had to hose them off. But not after I tracked in a ton of dirt accidentally. I wonder what's for lunch? It's past one. I like watching mockingbirds divebomb starlings and grackles. It's kind of cold out today.

SO AWAKE! GAH!

The good news: I did Day One, but it was after work instead of before.

The bad news: I am wide awake, it's late, AND I have to get up realllllllly early tomorrow. (Have to leave for work at 7 a.m.!)

More good news: The gardening swap is working out well. I gave the microgreens from thinning my swiss chard to my neighbor with the same last name who calls me "cuz." In exchange, she gave me spicy, yum arugula, a castor bean plant*, a raspberry bush, a peppermint plant and a tour of her yard. Oh, and some oregano for the baked kibbeh** I made for dinner.


*Neighbor Callsmecuz said she got the plants because GWB told people not to grow it. Looking at the website I linked to describe the plant, I can see why he'd want not to have it all over the place. But, really? That plant does scare me a little bit. I'm not sure I want something that poisonous in my yard. After all, someone might use it to load a Bulgarian Umbrella, and, MAN, I want nothing to do with that! Imagine the scandal!

**I used beef instead of lamb, and didn't use a recipe at all. Basically you take bulgar and make it soak up water. You mix it with raw meat and onions. Saltyish. I added oregano, mint and a teensy bit of sorrel for tang. Next time I'll either add more sorrel or some lemon juice. You smush 1/2 the mixture into a well-buttered (with butter) pan. Then you spoon over it some more onions (sweated) a small amount of browned ground meat, and toasted pine nuts. Then you put the other half on top. Bake until done and nicely browned.

The best laid plans...

My alarm didn't go off today. I set it earlier than normal so I could get up and do Day One of the couch-to-5k plan.

Um. I'm late for work.

Not happening

Substitute

May the 4th was 9 months not smoking. W00t! How did I forget?

In that nine months I've gone up, oh, two to three clothing sizes, which puts me distinctly in big girl territory for the first time ever. Oh, I've hovered on the edge before, yes indeedy, and now I have teetered over onto the other side.

Back when I was last almost plus-sized, I ended up losing 35 lbs and was truly skinny for a time. Circumstances were such that I needed exercise quite badly for other reasons, so I was working out 30 min twice a day. As a project, I also signed on to an eating plan, and over the course of a number of months I went down about 35 lbs.

And then I got laid off at my last health education gig and hired on at Evil U. And that job sucked. And I stopped exercising. And I ate Chik-Fil-A every day for lunch. And, not surprisingly, I gained weight. Since Aug 2005 I've gained 50 lbs. That is a TON! It's 15 lbs more than I had weighed before.

Sucky, huh?

It's actually not too, too bad, though.

Cause this not smoking thing? It's worth this weight. It's worth feeling crappy about my body size. It's worth having to buy all new clothes.

I'm scared, but it's coming up on the time where I now need to make the next change in my life. I seem to be motivated by not wanting to feel shitty. I feel shitty now. I feel ugly, weak and messy. I'm isolating myself.

So far in the last year I've a) gotten a much better job b) quit smoking and c) developed two really cool hobbies. I need to remember that that's a goodly amount of stuff! I have this tendency to be an all-or-nothing gal, usually tending to the "or nothing" side of things.

Hm.

Things left to work on: exercise, weight, partner.

(psssssssst...men here seem to be more tolerant of fatties than of smokers. also? i may have reached the age finally where they've gone through the inevitable divorce! there are more men on the market here than the last time i checked!)

Ruh Roh

Miss Jamie will either love me or hate me after this weekend. See, I didn't have to go to work until late today, which gave me some time to get things here in order. More than anything I needed to put away clean clothes.

But in order to do that I had to find some room. Cause, um, my recent (girth) expansion has left me with clothes that do not fit clogging up the closet. Now, however, they're in Jamie's closet, waiting for her to pick through and see what she wants. When I first went to see her I did the very same thing and she was able to salvage a ton of goodies. Her closet is what might end up hating me. The selections are probably mostly too big, but I've got a couple of surprises in there that just might work.

Props to JeniQ, who did a Craigslist run for me since it was right by her house. I am the proud owner of the t-shirt you see above. Free.