Skipped a day!

Well, it only makes sense. I had those three crazy interviews in 24 hours.

I've spent this morning looking at the places where I can imagine getting jobs, and there are no more appropriate positions out there, it seems. I'll keep looking every day, but dang.

I guess I need to apply for or communicate with someone about jobs at least twice a week for unemployment purpose. This week is taken care of, so if I have to apply for inappropriate jobs just to jump through the hoops, I'll hold off till next week.

Friday I looked at all I had to do before tomorrow and was slightly overwhelmed. Barely made it out, but when I did, I kicked ass and took names. I'm $738 richer, money I thought I'd forfeited by procrastination. I got three cute dresses that cost $75 total. I got my grandma a card, wrote it and mailed it. I called the doctor's office, who may have screwed me out of 3 months of medications by being slow and stupid.

Saturday and Sunday I got a great head start on my presentation, and on Sunday I went to two different pool parties. Escaped sunburn entirely. despite being outside for something like 7 hours. Returned the DVDs and neglected to make a hair appointment. Oh, but my driver's license came in the mail, and my picture was decent. I say this because I styled my hair that day, so as long as I do that tomorrow I should be fine.

So. Today:

To-Do
• Turn presentation into a powerpoint document and practice several times.
• Email PDF of slides to the interviewers
• Prep for the two interviews I have tomorrow
• Iron my dress? Maybe.
• Accessorize the dress.
• Toenails? Maybe.
• Apply for that last job that I have to apply for by tomorrow. I don't love the job, so I'm having a hard time coming up with a good cover letter. I also suspect they'll be overly hardcore on the experience, which is supposed to be at a college level.

OK, off to the races.

OK, yesterday ended up being a bit of a bust. I started feeling sick and so canceled my drinks with friend and didn't finish the job application, go to the bank or write my grandma. I felt really ill! I did, however, get two emails about jobs. One setting up the interview for Tuesday, and one explaining more about the Skype interview on Wednesday. Looks like I get to create a 15-min presentation. Yay? Meh, I can do it. Gives me an excuse to get ready for two interviews at the same time!

What I will do today:
Go shopping for interview clothes
Make a hair appointment
Apply for other job (having a bit of writer's block on the cover letter)
Go to bank
Get card and stamp for Grandma.
Call Dr's office and make sure they did what I asked them to about my meds.

What I will do this weekend:
Make a powerpoint presentation, practice it and send slides to email so they can have them to follow along.
See my friend Karen, who will be in town.
File unemployment claim
Return DVDs to the library.

Reflecting on yesterday, I certainly didn't do all I wanted to. Today I'm off to a decent start though.

What I did do yesterday:
Mow backyard
Make good, healthy food.
Get a phone call scheduling an onsite interview for a good job (!! YAY!!)
Take a nap
Watch a movie

What I have done today so far:
Had breakfast
Killed a gargantuan spider
Mowed the front yard
Begun a job application

What I will do today
Finish the job application
Schedule the interview
Meet up with a friend for drinks

What I hope to do today
Find a new outfit to wear to my upcoming job interviews
Go to the bank
Write my grandma

Surprise!

Back from the dead, I am.

Nobody much blogs anymore do they? Facebook and IRC have taken over my blogging time, not to mention that whole job thing.

Oh, job? Why yes, thanks for asking!

I don't have one. Nope. My organization closed its doors last week, victim of piss poor management after the director left.

Thankfully, I saw the writing on the wall and began looking about a month ago, when they cut my hours back to 80% of full time. So far I've applied for 6 positions and gotten interviews for 4 of them. The last two are at the same organization, and they haven't invited anyone in yet. I have connections at all the places, so I'm not entirely in the dark about what's going on. One position was a stretch (at best) and I didn't get the job, which is fine. The other 5 I'm still in the running for, and are great fits with my experience.

So there's the backstory.

Now for the meat of this post. I'm bored and unmotivated. I've been like this for a while, actually, but with work I didn't have to worry about the boredom except on weekends. Now every day is a weekend. That's what I'm here to change.

I need structure. When I was last unemployed, I did tons of projects and it was fun, if stressful because of money. I have projects I could do now, but I'm lacking this motivation, which sucks. This is why I am going to put some structure in my life, and this blog is what's going to keep me honest.

Here's the plan, which I will likely revise as time goes on.

Wake up
Drink coffee, check FB, computer fun. (One hour)
Blog my schedule
Shower
Work
Lunch
Work
Make dinner

Here's my schedule for Day 1:

8-8:30 Shower
8:30-9:30 House cleaning
9:30-11 Get driver's license renewed.
11-12:30 Make and eat lunch, do dishes.
12:30-3 Look for jobs and apply
3-5 Garden

Garden in the afternoon isn't ideal, because it's going to be hot, but it's wet out there right now.

OK, ¡Adelante, Stew!

From excellent to yicky in less than a week!

I haven't talked about the election returns yet, have I? Suffice to say that overall I'm extremely pleased.

Some specifics:
1) No more Liddy Dole. My mom and my friend Michele both called me* when that race was called. Not only did I (figuratively) wish to spit on the woman who took over the seat of another loathesome guy, but I was also very proud to vote for Kay Hagan. She has some sound ideas about sustainable ag and local foods, and I'll always love her for her support of raw milk. Have you tasted that goodness yet? It's a gorgeous sensation.
2) Obama. I doubt I have to say much about this to any of you, but I'm even more impressed that he's planning to recind many of the immoral policies Bush implemented. I volunteered on election day in a county that eventually went for McCain. I didn't do very much at all, but I was glad I took the day off.
3) Anti-choice initiatives failed. Thank goodness.
4) Can you say NC is blue? Yes! Me too!
5) Bad news: Proposition 8 in California passed, as did a number of other anti-gay initiatives. Gotta love people taking away civil rights, ya know?

I spent the night at my friend Ian's place, after going to the NC Dems victory celebration downtown. The energy there (as well as some champagne) gave me a fantastic buzz, and there were celebrations in the streets. So wonderful. Walking downtown the next morning I was so grateful to see people still beaming and making small talk in the street with strangers about how happy they were.

The next day I met with the group of teens I work with, and they were excited as well. They did share some unfortunate experiences documenting the racial tension that still exists even now. I'd expected as much, sadly, so I had prepared a "teachable moment" plan and showed them The Children's March. I was so proud to hear them talk about ways they have already and could continue to stand up to bigotry as it happens today.

So yeah, election week rocked.

But.

There always has to be a but, doesn't there?

Yesterday started out well. I was super productive and did dishes, cooked, and gardened. I'm landscaping most of the front yard, and I realized at Maria's birthday party the night before that I really had to get the irises in that Jamie and the s.o. gave me back over labor day weekend.

While I was doing this, though, I noticed an oddity on the street. Someone had pulled up in front of the house next door for a bit, and then turned around and parked again, this time directly across the street from me. I was a bit oblivious at first, though I did wonder briefly what this person was doing. Were they lost?

Nah. It was a young guy who decided to jerk off to my yardwork. Once I figured that out, I walked out in the street towards him a bit, but really more towards the back of the car. To get the plate number, see? And I did. I got the entire plate number, even before he peeled out. The police were very nice, and I felt strong, proud, and confident. I was happily surprised that my reaction was so matter-of-fact and oriented towards justice. I didn't show him any response beyond first being puzzled and then calmly (not even forced calm...I was zenned out) observing and memorizing as much info about the situation as I could. I emailed two neighborhood listservs with the details as well, and many residents cheered me.

Unfortunately, that pride and calm dissipated as the night wore on, taking me to a place of fear and worry. What if he retaliated? What if he broke in or vandalized my car? My god, he knows where I live, after all. What if Bubba's barking (Loud! Mean-sounding!) compelled this asswipe (and the friends I imagined would accompany him) to shoot Bubba?

I read By the Shores of Silver Lake last night, and didn't contain my tears when Jack died in his sleep.

I'm going to the police department in the morning to check on their progress. I've contacted local sexual violence crisis centers for advice and support. I can't imagine the horror that a more serious act of sexual violence would be like. I'm glad I haven't had to. This was gross enough.

Lotta tags for this post, hm?

*Michele actually texted me, and I then called her.

NOT YET

I have an early gig at a school today, so I have to get up earlier than normal. Some part of my brain decided that meant that 4 a.m. was time to get up.

Dear Body,
This IS NOT OK. Get back to sleep, NOW.
Love,
Stew

Dear Stew,
OK, ok, but you know I thought I smelled coffee, and I'm hungry! And what if I don't get up in time? Better early than oversleeping, you know.
Love,
Your Body

Dear Body,
There is no reason to be so concerned about oversleeping. It's not an airplane, it's an early class at a school. Time's a wasting--you have about an hour and ten minutes left of sleep.
Love,
Stew.

Dear Stew,
Put away the damned computer so I can sleep!
Love,
Body

(Goodnight)

Landscaping and illness blow-by-blow

Oy.

Still sick. This has been a doozy of an illness. First, last Thursday I all-but collapsed in a Catholic church in a far-flung bedroom community of our state capital. I lay in their infirmary for a couple of hours, letting someone else deliver the presentation I'd so carefully spent days preparing in Spanish. Then the aforementioned fever, coughing, sniffly, sneezy, body aches, etc. set in over the weekend.

On Monday I went in to work because I had some stuff to do that I could *not* put off. Then I went home after lunch. Tuesday I stayed home rather than drive to a meeting two hours away. This meeting was mandatory if I wanted to be able to apply for a big grant. Nobody else in my organization could go with such short notice. The funders allowed for no flexibility at all. No grant, I guess.

Wednesday I worked, since the fever was gone, though I had no voice. There were another couple things I couldn't cancel. I worked some Thursday, too, because we had a big (BIG) fundraiser I was obligated to attend--this despite the clogged ear which I suspect has blossomed into an ear-infection. Friday I recuperated some, and borrowed an LCD projector from a colleague at another organization. Yesterday I volunteered at the farm tour for a few hours, but I'm making no attempt today to go visit any other farms I could go see with my free entry pass. Sad. I am wearing the t-shirt, though. Such nice organic cotton.

Instead of going to farms, I'm working again today. From home, but still. It's not too bad. I'm just practicing hooking my computer up to and using an LCD projector. I've had to mooch a cable converter (thank god for neighborhood listservs and a tight community). The one I got wasn't the correct one, but I have a lead on another. Once I have the projector figured out, I also have to go pick up some gift cards and finish up a project. Concurrently I'm catching up on housework. The dishes and laundry sure piled up quickly.

I have a big project I've had to put off because of this illness. See, I'm kind of sick of my front yard being so boring and grassy. I want flowers, dangnabbit! I happened along a big ole' pile of shredded hardwood for free, which is sitting on my front lawn.

See?

Actually, it's not quite like this anymore. I've laid down cardboard on much of the front left (from your point of view--out of visibility of the picture for the most part), and heaped the mulch over the cardboard. There's a strip along the sidewalk, and the azaleas and camellia have been weeded and covered with mulch as well. I expanded the mulching in front of the porch quite a bit, making a sort of arc. This will brew over the winter, and then come spring, the grass will all be dead and ready for perennial planting.

Now I have to figure out a plan to keep the newly-landscaped area full of blooms throughout all seasons.

This is confounding me slightly. Here are some of the possibilities:

Spring:
Bulbs?

Summer:
Creeping thyme carpet
Daisies, black-eyed susans, echinacea

Fall:
Mums
Asters

Winter
Um...?

All year:
Rosemary
Sage (?)

Any suggestions?

Bleh

Yuck. I'm sick. At least I think I must be. Yesterday I took a nap, and today I did the same, only for much longer. I'm feeling out of sorts, very under the weather, and also quite down, which I alluded to yesterday. Down enough to be concerned. Bad thoughts are beginning to invade my quiet (when healthy) mind.

I just deleted a long vent about work. Let's just say I'm not very happy right now, and I'll leave the specifics inside of me, where they belong much more so than here on a blog. Oh how I wish I could rant. I wish I could responsibly feel comfortable detailing the whys of my work malaise. Ah well.

Ok, enough of the bad.

The good:
Our Marianne was kind enough to let me swing by this morning to pick up a large, heavy sack load of pears from her tree. She's had a bounty crop this year, and I appreciate the donation. They'll ripen up in the next couple of weeks, and then I'm considering canning them as whole fruit.

I planted beets, radishes, broccoli and carrots in my community plot today. I purchased cabbages, broccoli, carrots, kale, and probably 90 more things to plant at home, but I've not been able to drag myself out there.

Ok, the forced reporting of The Good feels just that: forced. Again with the invasive negative thoughts (Hey! Pessimism is catching! I'm surrounded by it daily, so no surprise, I suppose). Might as well roll with it.

Birding yesterday SUCKED. The trail I took hadn't been trod since Spring migration, I'm pretty sure. The waist-high weeds hiding the trail were the main tipoff. There were screaming children, a couple of Blue-Gray Gnatcatchers, and weirdest looking mottled-breasted, quiet-voiced Carolina Wren I've ever seen. I realized I've not seen the majority of summer residents even once this season. No Indigo Buntings. No Tanagers. Jeeze.

I let a few kilos of beans rot rather than find time to process them.

I don't have a working stereo in my car.

Bubba is so chill as to seem absolutely insipid when I want him to be cheery.

I went out to meet a girlfriend for drinks last evening and had zero fun. This despite her buying me a drink and appetizer at the extremely fancy restaurant she'd chosen. And also despite being hit on by a good-looking man whose middle name was literally Danger. He handed me his bank card as proof. My reply (out loud, even) was that I felt like I was in a bad movie. He swore we'd met before. We hadn't.

Not supposed to be doing this.

At this moment my mom, Pedro, Annie, her three boys and my Grandma are all up at Lake Michigan, enjoying a temperate, sunny day, cool breezes, hammocks, hugs and snuggles, fresh cherries, wildlife, sand, outdoor showers, cold waves, and a new spa. Look at the weather up there. Sigh. 

I'm inside at my mother's computer, doing research on public health issues, catching up on the time sensitive tasks I didn't get done before heading out of Cackalack. I was hoping to finish up before lunch, stop for a wet burrito to go and be on my way. 

This is taking longer than I expected, likely due to my perfectionist tendencies. Luckily, I came across sustenance in the form of Diet Vernors and a wild rice, almond and morel pilaf from the freezer. Two of the three main components of the pilaf are local, I suspect.  Little by little I've ingested about 3 cups of this manna so far, which is keeping me sane as I bemoan my delayed gratification. 

Get me out of here!

Decapitated Chicken

That's me. The day after tomorrow I leave at the asscrack of dawn to head up to the Great Lakes State for some R&R, good birding, and familial bonding.

Somehow, though, every single type of deadline possible is also this week, both at work and in my personal life. I have so many things to do that it's been keeping me awake at night, with all the to-do's running through my head over and over. What if I don't remember to do X before I leave? What if I can't get in touch with Y person? What're these other unexpected time-consuming work tasks that have a deadline while I'm gone? Must do! Must pay rent! Must document all car problems! Must water neighbor's garden by hand with her cistern water and free any Brown Thrashers that managed to break through the netting to get to the sweet sweet blackberries and then can't find their way out! Must make homemade fruitsnacks with a handful of blackberries and two dozen underripe peaches! Must do sinkload of dishes! Must deal with housemate pas de deux! Must clean out car! Must complete and hand over certain things best not to mention here but that take way too much time and are inordinately important and that are due before I go! And that I just found out about yesterday! Must pack ahead of time because I'm going straight from work Thursday to Chapel Hill to take my car in and then spend the night at Emily's so she can get me to the airport at said buttcrack of dawn! Must prepare my bathroom for new roommate to use before old roommate leaves! Must harvest and figure out how to take produce on the plane! Must get medicine refills, because I might run out, but who knows if I can because of the damned health insurance limitations?????????

Argh!!!!

An attempt to shame myself into cleaning

Go look at flickr if you'd like to see what everything is.

Dribs and drabs.

Inhale....exhale. Cough, cough. It's like a campground out there, folks. Very weird.
Two days ago, a very satisfied customer* sent me flowers. A large vase full of Gerber daisies. It was thrilling beyond belief, and I paraded them around the office, glowing. I wrote her a brief thank-you-for-the-thank-you note, to which I got the response "Oh, and we're making a donation to your organization in your honor."

Wow. Feels good!

*I've decided to call the people who ask me to do community presentations "customers" because it makes me feel good.

********************

Today is Ols's due date. A little girl. I can't wait to see the little poppet. Her parents-to-be look SO different from one another it's hard to imagine how those genes will mix. I'm also jealous that she'll have Moxie to snuggle up to as well as Ols and Mr. Ols.

********************

I'm off to see my sweet Nem this afternoon, but I'm not sure what's going to become of our plans. We were going to go to the botanical gardens and then for some crazy popsicles, but this haze might cause some re-thinking.

********************

Recent transplants don't understand just how much ice has to go in sweet tea if it's not yet cool.

********************

Garden SOC: My tomato plants are overloaded with fruit, especially the Sungold. I love how the itsy tomatoes grow like grapes. I have 1/4 inch cukes. I'm not sure which types of squash I planted, but they're up and thriving. I planted corn, but I'm afraid for their stability. They don't have much topsoil, and what there is is very loose. I haven't planted enough beans, so I have to hop on that. I don't think I ever mentioned that I've companion planted a slew of marigolds in between all of my nightshades. Oh. I have peppers, believe it or not. They're small, but they're there! I think I have some fertilizing to do. The raspberries are almost done, and I have a new one to plant. Thanks, gardening neighbor! I chewed up some Long Leaf Plantain to use as a soothing poultice for my new mosquito bites. Next time I'm out on swampy trails, I'll remember to do the same with Jewelweed, which is one of my favorite plants already. Love the seed pods. And apparently the seeds themselves taste like walnut. Yum.

OK. Have a good weekend.

One by one

I'm doing it again. Sleeping on a bed with no sheets, because I just can't be bothered to put them on. And the other half of the bed is full of clean clothes. As are the baskets all over the floor. I did, however, put up a new shower curtain this morning. Yay for switching from mold to vinyl fumes!!

I need a haircut, too. I tried to get one in DC, but it was a holiday. The only places open were more barbershop than beauty parlor, and I suspect they'd have been hard pressed to deal with such fine hair as mine is anyway. It's all about texture specialization. Tried for a pedicure, too, but was underimpressed with what I perceived as unimplemented hygiene practices.

I'm working from home today. I only have a couple of hours to put in (thanks to another 12-hour day yesterday!), and it didn't make sense to drive 50 miles (RT) to do things I could just do here at home. Luckily, the boss saw things the same way, so here I am.

Good thing, too. I got my car inspected, which I'd been half putting off and half too busy to get done. Check another item off of the list! And it was severely cheap. Only $30? Nice.

While waiting at the mechanics, I realized that I could and indeed *should* nip across the street to check out a restaurant I'd heard great things about. Wimpy's Grill has always kind of scared/intimidated me, to tell the truth. It's so...beaten up. And dingy. And windowless. I couldn't find any photos of the place itself, but the sign pretty much says it all. It's one of those places that closes by 2 p.m., so it always seems closed, too.

All that angst for nothing!! Superb burgers. The meat is ground fresh daily. They also have biscuits and open at 7 a.m. weekdays. I think I know what I'll be trying next!

Another jaunt this a.m. was to my favorite discount/closeout store for a look around. I went small-appliance happy. I got not only an iron (Rowenta!), but also another toy I've wanted for ages--an immersion blender.

Gazpacho, here I come. Now, peppers, cukes and tomatoes? Do your thing already! Tired of waiting!

(Garden update: The volunteer dill is much taller than I am, and I suspect that I'll have ripe tomatoes within a week or so. Peas look like they're done with, and I'm hoping the blade-like things that are coming up where I planted the corn are indeed corn. Peppers have buds, and the cukes are nowhere near ready. I don't know what all I've planted, so I might have some more to do.)

Crazy Making

Did I mention I've been working a lot??? 10 more hours today. The day ended with me walking with overweight teens in high humidity until 5, at which time I boogied across town with the windows open, frantically hoping my sweat would dry, for a "State of the County's Public Health" forum. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't hear about the forum until yesterday (and then only via a forward of someone else's forwarded invite), considering that we set the county agenda tonight for the next few years.

I came out of there both depressed and invigorated. Depressed because my agency apparently has so little visibility in the community as to have been overlooked with a direct invitation. Invigorated because the workgroup I was in set some kick-ass priorities: 1) to increase effective prevention efforts for communicable diseases (i.e. STDs including HIV/AIDS) and 2) to implement strong advocacy measures at all levels (*cough* state law *cough* schools *cough*) to eliminate barriers (*cough* abstinence until marriage *cough*) to service delivery.

Oh, and I don't think I like fava beans very well. They're bitter. I have a lot of them. Crap.

Pant pant pant pant

Excuse me here while I catch my breath. Since last Tuesday I've worked 70 hours. I have about 20 more to put in in the next two days, and then I'm taking off for our nation's capital.

Marc will be hosting, despite the upheaval caused by the arrival of all of his sea freight just a few days ago. I'll be couching it. I love couch sleeping!

Along the way I'll try to have lunch with Michele as well as stop by Ikea. Anyone in the area have any requests for me to pick up there?

In DC I plan to take off and sightsee for once. I've been to DC a number of times, but I always seem to be enmeshed in random Madonna concerts, marching on the mall or drunken St. Patrick's day festivities that involve eggs and Guinness at breakfast time. It hasn't left much time for your general Smithsonian goodness.

OK, just got done with mowing the lawn and attempting self-surgery on a skintag-like mole that I hate. I didn't succeed. Ah well. The sound of blood pounding through my ears must have been a sign that I was crazy. No harm, no foul, and not much blood. Damnit. I want that thing GONE.

I bandaged it up, but after a recent email conversation with Ols, I'm going to find some thread and try the tie off method. If that doesn't work, there are other options.

Excitement!

At this moment, I am the employee in the office with the most seniority. And there's a patient that's acutely homicidal. Awesome. I'm not in danger, I swear. It's very interesting, that's for sure.

Market bag

It's passed already. Just needed to get out of bed, step in the shower, put on some clothes and hightail it over to my coffee shop.

Yesterday I finished this hot pink market bag I'd put on the back burner for a while. It took just an extremely boring medical interpreter training to motivate me!! Filling in vocab sheets when the trainer a) can't train to save her life and b) is wrong three times a minute and c) takes forever and rambles serves to really get that hook flying.

So here it is in all its dubitable* glory.

I'll call the kids shortly, now that the moment of woe has passed.

*I love making words from other words.

My life doesn't exist anymore. Or else it's hiding.

It's barely 9 a.m., and I'm already having a shit day.

When I got to work and opened up my palm software, there were no entries on the calendar. At. All. They were there last night before I left. I have no idea what happened between then and now.

Then, I decided to sync because my handheld probably still had the data on there, right? (I didn't look first.) This then resulted in all of my data being wiped off of the handheld.

My LIFE is on there. I have no idea where to even begin to try and see if there's any way I can recover this data. The Palm software support help area seems to say no. There is, however, an archive that has some of the appointments on there, but really very few.

I am NOT looking for anyone to troubleshoot for me. In fact, DON'T. If I want help I'll ask later, but for now I just want to rant.

In 10 minutes I'm meeting with my boss, who keeps a paper calendar and who has been known to put her nose up a bit at the electronic systems because she thinks they're unreliable. She's going to want to know what I have planned, and I seriously have no idea. I'll be spending today recreating my schedule from emails. I'll have to ask her when we're next meeting, however.

I'm not at all happy, kiddos.

Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guilty Pleasures?

Tip: DON'T use your real email address. Create one especially for this kind of thing.

Want a free subscription to Star magazine?

All you have to do is write two 50-word reviews of mascaras!! Think of it as a creative writing exercise that will reward you with an entire year of trashy goodness. I think it would be especially fun to do if you didn't wear mascara at all.


Ooooh. And here's a free subscription for Interview! This one only requires one 50-word review of any movie* you've ever seen.

Both of these are for my office.

*My review: I liked the movie Star Wars. It came out when I was really little, and it inspired tons of imaginary play. We made light sabers out of wrapping paper rolls, painting the ends pink or blue and then black for the grips. They bent a lot though, which was annoying. What I didn't like about the movie was how gross the trash compactor scene was. EW EW EW!! Princess Leia was beautiful. Luke was dreamy. I wish I'd realized at the time how hot Han Solo was. Anyhoo, I loved it when L and L kissed just before swinging across the chasm on that planet thing.

They made me take off the last sentence because the review was too long.