Hulu Crap.

Not in a bad way. In the "OMG, I can't believe I didn't know about this!" way.

Loose ends

I can't figure out what to do with my time. There are things I should be doing (ahem, taxes), but it's the weekend, and well, yuck.

So I'm in bed, awake for the past 4 hours, but I haven't done anything other than cruise along on the internet. I want coffee, but seem to be too lazy to make it. I suppose the plan was to get up and go to a coffee shop, but I couldn't find the motivation. I didn't know where to go, and I didn't know what I'd do when I got there. I suppose I'm just feeling like I'm at loose ends.

There's a little bit of a bummer-drag feeling inside of me today, also. I got a text message from someone who I have no respect for, but who is inextricably linked to my three favorite boys. They're apparently in Nashville currently, and The Father (who I really dislike interacting with) wanted to see if he could call me "since it's a favorite place of yours" or some such. Well, I haven't been to Nashville in 15 years. What's really bumming me out/pissing me off about this is that The Father was a friend of mine way before he was The Brother In Law and then The Father and then the Asshole. And in that role of friend, he came to visit me in Nashville. So the text message makes me just that much more bitter and sad and pissed off, remembering those nice memories and how tainted they are now.

I'm crying a little bit now for that lost friendship. And for knowing that right now I *can't* call them because he still makes me so angry, even four years later. And that makes me feel guilty, because a big part of me wants to let bygones be bygones for the sake of my dear sweet boys. Why shouldn't they talk to their aunt when they're in a town that she lived in? It's my inability to deal that's upsetting me. I don't want to be that person who stops talking to other people. It messes with kids. I mean, if it were just some random person who fucked me over I would have no problem with just cutting them out of my life. But this isn't comparable.

I also feel guilty, of course, because I'm not the one who was most wronged in this situation. My anger is mostly by proxy, but also directly. He lied to everyone. I trusted him and he fucked up royally, and for a very long time, and very badly.

So kids, if you have friends who become relatives, a word to the wise. Don't be an untrustworthy asshole who hurts those around them, who trusted you and loved you and welcomed you with open arms. Don't lie and disrespect and screw over your friends' loved ones, their family, their friendship.

Just don't. It leads to days like this.

Thanks.

Poke Poke

If I haven't actually said this yet, I've at least been thinking it for the last week. Come early December, my nose turns into a high-maintenance itch factory. There's not much as far as output goes, but considering the time you spend there, you'd hope it would at least bring some kind of benefit.

But no. The nose just cracks on the inside and then bleeds. They're not the OMG-I-got-hit nosebleeds where you try to remember whether you're supposed to tilt your head forward or back. No, it's nowhere near that bad. There's constant itch plus an eense of blood that staunches pretty easily with some pressure. It is disconcerting, though.

I just wanted to bitch about that. Thanks.

I'm bored.

Give me some ideas.

I'm going to go outside to rake here in a second.

Excuse me here as I shove some of these breakfast mashed potatoes and gravy-laden stuffing into my mouth, ok?

Maria and David's meal did not disappoint. Damn they're good. My contribution was wine (too much!) and a pecan pie. I'm not sure how this happened, but the filling ended up under the crust, which annoyed me. I like a bottom crust to be crunchy and most decidedly NOT soggy. When it floats in the pecan pie filling, though, the crust will necessarily be soggy. Sigh. Has anyone else ever seen that happen?

The most important part of a good turkey dinner is the gravy. Too often people make a gravy that's the color of a pair of Dockers. That is sad. A good turkey gravy is more this color.

Brown brown brown brown brown brown brown!

In case you forgot

Imperatrix was right. Photo Booth is addictive. It also feels self-absorption enabling, when I sit there and take pictures over and over, deleting until I get one that doesn't seem entirely heinous.

Not surprisingly (considering my recent state of being), I'm feeling old and battered. Looking at the picture I've posted, I just see the bags and lines. I'm glad that the turtleneck I've got on hides my the extra chin that's conspiring to wrap around my neck until it chokes me dead. It makes me want to get more of them.

(BTW, I'm slightly freaking out, because even though I want to explore these thoughts, I worry that it will make those of you who read and know me want to reassure me that no, no, no you really are cute, stew, and it's OK. I actually know that, though, and let me just make it clear that I'm not fishing. Heh. The logical part of me does accept that I'm not in the least ugly.)

These unfavorable thoughts didn't just stop me, though, from flashing a bright, honest smile at the cute, presumably unmarried* guy across from me who is absorbed in reading a huge stack of what looks to be research papers.

Oy, I still have a headache.

*Of course there's no telling if he a) has a girlfriend or even b) whether he'd ever have a girlfriend.

New addition, 12:45 p.m.
Deposited checks, and miraculously walked into a busy salon and snapped up a no-show's appointment. $50 later....

Dead? I hope not!

New Roommate went camping this weekend, with family. New Roommate hasn't come home yet. New Roommate's car is in front of the house and hasn't moved.

Hrm. Mystery.

******
Mystery...SOLVED! 2-day camping trip. Not just an overnight. It smells like campfire inside here now. :-)

Durham Pizza

I. Want. Good. Pizza. Now.

Where can I get it around here? I've been having crappity pizza the times I've had it of late*, and that's just no good at all.

I'm thinking that Pizza Palace is in my future. I had some of that with Elrond a couple of months ago, and mmmmmmmmmmmm it was good. But I'd have to wait until probably 5 p.m. tonight. I don't know if I have that kind of stamina.

Alternately, I've heard good things about Randy's. But I'm not sure the one near me has the same owners as the one I've been to before. That one, which I tried a few years ago when hanging with my boy Gee one day, was over in Woodcroft, kind of by City Beverage. It was fab, too.

Here are the qualities that are coming to mind that define a fantastic pizza as I would like to eat it right now.

1) Thin crust that is slimy under the sauce, but crunchy and slightly burned on the bottom. Not soggy.
2) Thin, almost watery sauce. Not sweet, savory. Even salty, perhaps.
3) Cheese that is gaggy it's so melted. And that is not very good once it's cool. And that tends to slip around a lot if you've tried to move the pizza while it's too hot.

Any suggestions?

p.s. I am JUST barely able to leave the house for an hour or so. However, I am still exhausted and BORED. BORED!!!! NOTHING TO READ!

NOM NOM NOM NOM PIZZA!




*It's because it's been work-related CRAP.

Wallowing so much I'm making myself laugh!

How is it that I'm both bored AND stressed out? Naw, don't bother answering.

:::shuffles back to bed:::

WAIT!

I just remembered there's a fucking FREEZE warning tonight. I took as many tomatoes off the vine as I think will actually ripen inside. The others will just have to fucking DIE.

Freeze Warning from 4:00 a.m., Oct 30 until 9:00 a.m., Oct 30

Damnit. I just remembered that I have some plants outside that need to come in.

I'm annoyed that when I type this computer is now so slow that there's about a 10-15 character lag. Pain in the ass for typos.

I don't even like the damn plants that are outside, so maybe I'll leave them out there to DIE MOTHERFUCKERS! KILL ALL THE PLANTS!

And WTF? none of the fall plants I have will even have reached any level of harvest. Oh. Except the radishes. The carrots are mere sproutlings that will be dead tomorrow because I don't give a shit. . I suppose the drought and high temperatures retarded first their germination and then their growth.

Grrrrrrrrr. Hot chocolate and a roommate who is increasingly charming (1st: cleaned the kitchen. 2nd: "Wow, I moved into the right place" when I feed him) doesn't even help all that much.

My bed is piled high with (clean) laundry. Tomorrow a.m. I'll be putting it away, provided I get up on time.

Costumes

This weekend is one of parties. I've been quite social on weekends these days, and last night I just couldn't make it out to a pumpkin-carving party I was supposed to go to. I'm getting a cold, so I was all tickly-throated, sniffy, stuffy, hot-eyed and rather on the miserable side. Nix on the trip to Carrboro just to cut pumpkin guts out.

And besides, I have another pumpkin-carving party to go to this afternoon. And then a Halloween party tonight.

I hit the farmer's market this a.m. and picked up some smoked* farmer's cheese from the Creamery, and some ground beef. I hadn't been to the market in ages (fell off the wagon after One Local Summer), so it was kind of creepy to see how sparse the offerings had become.

I was with New Roommate, and he talked me into going to the fairgrounds for some hot flea market action. But there wasn't a flea market going on so we went to my fave thrift store instead.

SCORE!
One men's XL Patagonia cashmere sweater (all the better to shrink you with, my dear!)
One pair of black, high-heeled Mary Janes.
One large, plush football.

On the way back we stopped by El Rey de la Comida for some staples (beer, milk, bar soap) and some treats (sugar cereal, IBC rootbeer--diet). I started to get light headed, as I hadn't eaten anything yet. It was almost 1 p.m.

Today it feels like I'm telling my story to convince myself that I do exist.

New Roommate prepared some chicken sausages to share while I stuffed my gourd with fritos and salsa.

I made a pasta salad based on one my mom used to make all the time. Rotini, olive oil, black olives, tomatoes, tuna, and then capers and caper juice. As a finishing touch, I chunked up that 1/2 lb of smoked farmer's cheese and tossed that in once the pasta cooled. It's really tasty. Full of umami goodness. Maybe it's the still-from-my-garden tomato chunks?

Speaking of my tomatoes, this recent 4 inches of rain (still not enough) has really messed with their poor little hides. Any tomato that was in the process of ripening is now bursting with large, fresh cracks from too much too quickly.

My bathroom ceiling leaked last night. I was afraid it was going to fall in. It didn't.

Wow this is a boring entry.

So what do you think I'm going to be for Halloween? There's at least one hint in this entry.

Off to shower and then clip my toenails.

*They get it smoked at the BBQ Joint.