Today when I went to the doctor, I remembered that I'd actually be seeing a PA rather than my regular guy. That, understandingly, gave me a bit of anxiety, considering where my health is at the moment. I also knew though that my doctor is closely supervising her and would be actually stopping in during the appointment.
My main concerns: a) lack of background knowledge. This woman wouldn't know me, wouldn't know my current situation, and thusly wouldn't have the same insight into what works for me. And then b) I didn't know her. Compatibility, confidence and trust are practically as important in provider/patient relationships as with romantic relationships, in my book. I was facing uncertainty during a time that can only be described as crisis.
Never doubt that the universe will provide, people. The woman I was scheduled to see, whose name didn't even ring a bell to me, is a PA that I used to see when she was working in the neurology clinic at Big Public Teaching Hospital. She knew me. I knew her. I trust her. I adore her. She's fab. She knew who I'd be before I even showed up. ("Could it be the same Stewie McStewerson I used to treat for epilepsy?" she told me she had asked herself) As soon as I saw her the chips fell into place.
Sum total: We're upping my meds, and I'm going to be better at taking others that I'm prescribed for "as needed" that I tend to avoid. Any medicine that is a controlled substance kind of makes me wary. (No, I won't be taking Gamma Hydroxybutyric Acid or peyote or anything--just some run of the mill and mild things, and short term at that.)
"New" provider is not so new.
Meds are going to be good.
Optimism reigns in the face of challenges.
It's also pretty clearly a physiological issue rather than situational or psychological.
I'm good. I'll be better. But we knew that already, no?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008