Reprinted with Permission from the Watts Hillandale Neightborhood Association listserv

Dear citizens,

I have observed urban chickens standing on corners trying to push illegal corn feed to innocent visiting chickens from the country as well as leaving it in plain site of our children. It has also been observed that urban chickens violate traffic laws as I noticed them traveling the wrong way around traffic circles while fleeing from prosecution from the chicken police for chicken misdemeanors to chicken felonies. Urban Chickens are know for trespassing, public disturbances, public defecation, j-walking, fleeing and eluding, threatening behavior to smaller chicks, and public lewd and lascivious behavior, and other disturbing urban chicken behaviors best left in the country.

They set a bad example for our domesticated animals and thus should be incarcerated in a maximum security chicken pen-itentiary under strict supervision of correctional officers (the fox) of the pen-itentiaries and isolation from the public for the protection of public safety and innocent country chicken corruption. Most incarcerated chickens are hardened by their confinement and while in incarceration learn more criminal chicken activities. They pose a risk to innocent chickens being lured into a life of criminal chicken crimes and rampant chicken gang induced violations in our community.

Please help keep our streets safe from these gangs of chickens from infiltrating our peaceful community. I have noticed different varieties of chickens gathering into groups. We do not need more gang chicken violence spreading filth into our communities. It is a statistic that different chicken gangs are already having wars over the heinous and illegal habit of chicken feed distribution. Chickens are incarcerated in pen-itentiaries from the cities and other populated communities for a reason.

Parole of chickens has proven a high rate of crime in areas they flee. Reincarceration is inevitable after they flock to neighboring communities creating pandemonium and illegal distribution of chicken feed. These criminal chickens should all be fried!!!!!

Please help keep our streets safe.....to quote Nancy Reagan "Just say no".

Dr. Cluck PHD.
The Domesticated Animal Rights Association of Durham