Wednesday, May 9, 2007


When I lived in NY, I didn't know many people. In an attempt to meet people and be a little more engaged, I decided to take a community college course in American Sign Language. Now, mind you, I was depressed, undiagnosed and miserable at the time, BUT the experience really sucked. There were only a few people in it, they were weird, and it was really beyond basic in its level. I think I eventually stopped going.

Another time I tried a salsa dancing class. I think I may have written about this before, and I've certainly told many of my friends about the horrible teacher. She was kind of "woo" and seemed to take way too much pleasure in showing off rather than actually teaching. There were a lot of unnecessary flourishes. And she smelled really rank, too. I won't name her, because who knows who might be friends with her!

Anyway, I'm attending a training for work tomorrow at the state's headquarters for community colleges. In looking up directions, I got distracted by course offerings. They kind of fascinated me!

Some examples and my gut reaction to them: (Please excuse how the descriptions are cut off...that happened because I copied and pasted. I can't easily fix it)

Recommended Hours: 160
Maximum Hours: 192

This course will enable the student to develop work skills necessary
for the removal of quality crabmeat from the whole crab, to learn to
develop speed and dexterity required to move the product quickly,
to develop individual personal hygiene and sanitation practices, to
understand and comply with Department of Environment, Health, and
Natural Resources regulations, and to become knowledgeable of the
seafood packaging and marketing process.
My response: whoa. I never ever thought about the need to have that level of training!
Recommended Hours: 30
Maximum Hours: 36

The student will learn to utilize computers to prepare screens for
data input, display error messages, enter data accurately and with
speed, verify data entered, and update and maintain data files.
My response: I feel really, really sorry for the people who need to take this class. (That's kind of mean, I know, but it's at least a genuine feeling)
Recommended Hours: 180
Maximum Hours: 216

This course is designed to provide an introduction to the principles
and concepts of lean manufacturing including but not limited to
Kaizen, 5s, value stream mapping, Takt time, Paka-yoke, pull systems,
line balancing and Kanban. Students will participate in simulations
of old and new lean manufacturing practices. Upon completion,
the student will be able to compare old and lean practices with
respect to total production, time to make first unit, rework, scrap
and work-in-progress.
My response: I hope this one has a language prerequisite!

Recommended Hours: 12
Maximum Hours: 14

This course is designed to prepare people engaged in the health
or mental health professions to cope with their own roller
coaster of emotions and to recognize and respond appropriately
to those emotions in others. The focus of the course is to prepare
participants to be able to create a healthy emotional response in any situation. Included in this course is an examination of the source of emotions and an exploration into healthy ways of coping with irrational fears, negativity, and anger.
My response: Hmmmmm. I wonder if this one is cheap? And can you imagine the people taking it? Anyone interested in infiltrating? This could be fun to get a group of friends to go to!

Recommended Hours: 15
Maximum Hours: 18

This is a course of study that introduces students to the new
philosophy of quality. It will focus around a three-program video
series, "Quality or Else," that provides a candid, incisive
exploration of quality-what it means; strategies for achieving it;
examples of successful implementation; and their profound,
far-reaching economic and political implications for businesses and
industries vying for successes in this new "age of quality".
This is a standard off the shelf copyrighted program that must run
under this title.
My response: I love their disclaimer at the end. The "Or ELSE" kind of turns me off, too!

Recommended Hours: 260
Maximum Hours: 312

Students will learn all of the skills necessary to secure an entry
level position in the commercial upholstery field. Students are
taught the entire process, from tearing down the old piece through
rebuilding the frames, up to the restoration of the piece.

My response: This is one that sounds cool, but is probably really boring after about two classes.

Recommended Hours: 33
Maximum Hours: 40

Desairology: A specialized field in which a cosmetologist or
funeral attendant is instructed in the proper styling and make-up
application of the dead.
My response: Everything you'd ever need to know and a number of things you won't!

If anyone wants to browse the other offerings, here they are!