Victory (garden) is MINE!!

Y'all? I had a whole mind dump of dreams I had during the 13 hours I slept last night that I was going to post.

Dave Neuhaus explained to me tenderly just why he hadn't come to my last dream/event; He was in the CIA. My former childhood dentist decided to shoot me and a friend point blank into the stomach while we all lay on a white eyelet-covered bed. Luckily he missed me, but my friend was not so lucky, so she had to go to our test with a gunshot wound. I was merely woozy.

But instead of going into even further detail about the dreams (I remembered crazy-specific snippets), I really would rather talk about my new baby: Project Garden.

OMG there's a lot to do! And I don't even really know where to begin. When in doubt, begin with the basics; stock up on gardening necessities.

Taking stock of what I have:

• a broken shovel.
• a rake
• a cheap trowel
• a compost bin that has compost in the bottom of it (yay!)
• two blue tarps
• bricks (to be gathered from around the perimeter of the garden site, which seems to have been the foundation for an out-building in its past)
• garden hose and sprayer thing
• soaker hose, missing an end cap and which doesn't fit onto a spigot
• hand pruner
• 3-4 heavy duty garden stakes
• unknown quantity of non-heavy duty stakes
• hedge clippers
• non-motorized lawn mower
• ingenuity
• time
• thrift
• the internets
• access to seasoned gardeners for consulting services
• SEEDS!!
• a garden plot that may or may not be sunny enough. (Damn you pretty, but non-native, invasive Mimosa Trees and your "filtered sun"!)

OH SHIT! May or may NOT be sunny enough!!

What I need, at minimum, I think:
• Sun
• at least one shovel that works, preferably two: pointy and flat edged. Long enough.
• a cultivator (like the Garden Claw, but dude, I don't need marketing.)
• a ho(e)
• spading fork
• mini weed chopper thing
• gardening gloves
• anti-bunny/small animal fencing (anti-deer? I don't know, because I am pretty urban here)
• a climbing system for beans
• tomato cages
• sprinkler or at least an end cap for the soaker hose

Icing?
• a multi-hose adapter for my one accessible outdoor spigot
• a programmable hose timer (My stepdad Pedro always gets the "hose man" title for his extreme watering systems)
• mulch
• manure
• more canning jars
• gardening clogs
• aerating fork

Wellspring Caramel Icing
• Deep freezer for all my bounty
• house with sunny acreage and established beds of raspberries, asparagus, blueberries and blackberries. And fruit trees, especially sour cherries, which are not only my favorite fruit, but also the hardest access here.
• hot, nice man who reciprocates my love to garden with
• a job that pays enough to get the first two things on this list, while allowing enough time and inherent enjoyment to actually be able to garden
• the luck/opportunity/whatever to meet, entrance and keep the third

To deal with the possible lack of sun problem, I'm considering ripping out some sod in long strips. One spot by the backyard fence might be ideal. It's sunny, and the chain link fence could be used to trellis beans or cukes or squash or even tomatoes. Alongside the house there's another area I could go ahead and make into another long, sunny bed.

I'm so excited about this project. I hope I don't have a total burnout from it!

Don't forget to delurk, and if you have any feedback to give me on my plans, please let me know.

xxoo Stew

p.s. OMG I just started digging out a new bed. Hard work! Sweating! CLAY soil I'll have to prep somehow with mulch or sand or something...