Wednesday, October 17, 2007

But will I be able to chew it?

My Emily emailed me about this hotdog, which I think goes beyond even fair food in its glory. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, in a way, but I'm also thinking my fair food experience may be tempered by the state of my mouth. And whether the painkiller works or not.

Pinky and I discovered last night that we had appointments with the same endodontist at the same time. That calls for breakfast! So we met up at Whole Paycheck for a little catching up before we submitted to torture. At least I did. I didn't hear any screams from the other room, or anything.

Pinky, stop reading NOW!

OK, so for the rest of you--

"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."
"OK, good, because I am very nervous about the pain."

All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel, made of stone

Shot #1--eh, just like any other numbing shot.
Shot #2--Oooooh. I didn't know my tongue had a funny bone.
Shot #3--ok, not so bad.

So noone told you life was gonna be this way
You're job's a joke you're broke, your love life's DOA



"We'll take care of you. Hang on. We'll fix that."

First I noticed the tears streaming out the sides of my eyes. That scared me, because it really, really hurt.

"Sometimes when there's a lot of inflammation, the anesthetic doesn't take well. We'll take care of you." (Pat pat on the shoulder pat pat)

Then the sobs started, and I was drawn to concentrating on how my belly was contracting involuntarily. When you're lying back with your mouth screwed open and a dental dam impeding your nose, there's no place for the snot to go but down your throat. And you can't swallow very well, either. It felt like I was choking.

"The ears seem to have been designed for catching tears, don't they, Stew?"

Mindfulness comes in handy in situations like this. I focused on a spot above my head and just felt my breathing.

"Will it hurt a lot in the next few days?"

"What did I prescribe you before? Lodine? Let me give you something stronger. Don't take these at the same time."

I made her give me a metric shit-ton of dental dams for my contraceptive teaching kit. I figured that's the least they could do for the $925 I had to pay for them to make me cry.