Thursday, January 29, 2009

From the Psychoneurotic Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous

For some reason I'm having a meltdown today, and my brain won't listen to reason.

In the moment I even worry about being worried, but at the same time am not worried about the anxiety long term.

Here are the things I'm worrying about:
Being worried.
Not getting my room clean before I go to MI for my grandma's birthday.
Accidentally forgetting all sorts of things--to make my bed
Not completing tasks before I go.
Being late, even though the flight isn't for another 5 hours.
Having over-felted my new mittens, hat, and neckwarmer.
Whether I'm going to have troubles checking luggage.
Whether I'll bother checking luggage.
Whether if I take anti-anxiety medicine I'll fall asleep and miss the plane.
That I won't be able to eat because of the timing of the flight.

Even doing the things I'm afraid I won't get done isn't helping.

It's insane and very out of the ordinary. I suppose this is what meds are for, though, right?

Even so, I think I'll meditate first. But what if it doesn't work and I fall asleep and miss my plane?

(I'm halfway making fun of myself with this post, but the feelings are indeed all real. Ugh)