Saturday, December 20, 2008

Sleighbells ring and all that.

I've been feeling a little pathetic recently, to tell you the truth. I had some meds changed, which helped curtail a slide downwards that I was feeling, but they've also left me with some weird side effects. Basically, in the mornings I've been feeling shaky and sometimes vomitous. Actually, I think for the first time ever, coffee is truly exacerbating this yuck feeling. I tried stopping the wakefulness-encouraging medicine, but that just left me so sleepy I've taken two 3-hour naps in the last two days. Followed by a full-night's sleep. Ugh!

This morning it hit me hard that I was going to be alone on Christmas. I called up a friend, but she wasn't able to invite me along to her goings on. I have to admit that I then cried in public. I do have a couple of places I can go, but for some reason they don't feel *right*. I want FAMILY, darnit. Hi Mom. I love you. I'm still glad I'm not getting on a plane, but I sure wish teleportation were a viable travel option. Sigh.

The good thing is that I've managed to take the last couple days' slump and transform it some. I left the house this morning, and when I came back I put in a couple of loads of laundry, ran the dishwasher, and gathered cookie recipes. I've made some thumbprint cookies to showcase my plum jam, and I'll begin on my traditional toffee here in a bit. Tonight I have a party to go to, which I'm looking forward to, and tomorrow I'll be doing the Chapel Hill Christmas Bird Count. I did the Durham one last weekend.

I did get a couple of cards in the mail today, which also helped. One was from my wonderful Grandma, and I'd like to share it with you.

Dear Stew,

I'm sorry you couldn't make it up here for Christmas, but when you work that's not always possible. We'll miss our Stew but will look forward to next summer maybe.* The weather up here is just so cold and snowy right now. I hate to go out and shovel my walk off, but I'll have to because the poor little birdies are all out of seed. So I'll have to go fill the feeder. My two pair of cardinals and the little snow birds (juncos) and sparrows and chickadees and blue jays are waiting for me to feed them. The squirrels and a little rabbit are out there, too. The boys were over last week with their father, and they brought hamburgs. I can't say no to that! I went to school doings with Annie and the boys last Wednesday. Your mom and Pete were here Mon. and brought me wine, two kinds of soup, fresh strawberries, and choc. cheesecake. I guess I won't starve! We will miss you!

Love, hugs, and kisses from

*What Grandma doesn't know is that I'm flying up to Michigan for a long weekend at the end of January. She's turning 90, and I'll be there, dammit!