Friday, January 26, 2007

The American Tribal Love/Rock Musical

One of y'all just emailed me, wanting an update on the grease situation. I've been documenting the hair status at different times throughout the day, for the past few.

If only I had some more scientific way to measure than observation. Oh well. Here goes.

Tuesday evening I noticed that my hair was worse than usual. I had showered at about 10 a.m., washed and conditioned my hair. After arriving chez Michele to do a little custom riding-boot measurement, I noticed my hair was already greeeeeeezzzzzzy at the roots. Fewer than 8 hours after washing and conditioning it, my hair looked like it used to on Day 2 with no shampoo.

Wednesday morning, by which time the grease was horrible, natch, I decided I'd skip conditioner altogether. Shampoo, rinse, and let's see. First, it was a BITCH to comb out. Snarly snarlson brought me right back to the days of No More Tangles. My mom suffered through years of rats nests at the nape of my neck, smoothly covered with a silky curtain of the hair I had been able to brush through. I wonder if they had conditioner in the 70s.

Wait. They didn't. It was Creme Rinse. THIS explains creme rinse's fall from glory, somewhat. Now it seems to be relegated to animal grooming products.

Whoa, that was an aside.

Back on track. My hair was sufficiently non-greasy during the day on Wednesday, but towards the evening it was showing signs of wear and tear. By Thursday morning it was, predictably, greasy.

Thursday is when I decided to go for broke with the Arm and Hammer solution. I scooped up a nice chunk of baking soda and mixed it with my shampoo. I washed my hair first thing, so that I could make sure it would be as rinsed as humanly possible before the hot water ran out. The washing technique was to concentrate on the roots, merely letting the cleansing power of the shampoo/baking soda synergy kiss the shaft. (Yikes. Porn?)

When I did eventually emerge, my hair was absolutely straw. It looked like uncooked ramen noodles, only tanglier. I had to painstakingly divide my hair into sections and gently, gently, gently work a comb through. No lie, it took 10 minutes to fully comb out my hair. As it dried, the hair took on a fuzzy texture first, probably from the lack of any emollient at all.

This morning it was greasy.

p.s. unrelated to the job, which I haven't heard about yet, my last few days have been REALLY crappy. Boy issues, roommate issues, garden issues, self-esteem issues, medical issues, money issues...lots of stuff is piling on, and I feel SHITTY. Lots of crying the last few days. I fucking hate it.